


On the Shoulder of Giants

by suddendistance



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 11:36:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7048084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suddendistance/pseuds/suddendistance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s Takumi, the boy with kind red eyes and pretty silver hair and a smile filled with promise.</p><p>But beneath that veneer of cool confidence, Oboro knows that something’s amiss. And later, she reflects, she should have seen it coming.</p><p>(a modern AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Shoulder of Giants

The change of season ushered in cool winds and changing leaves and with it, a new school year, a new semester. It’s a little after noon, and they are in Izumo Park, admiring the leaves and enjoying their lunches at a picnic table in the crisp autumn air.

Izumo Park was quiet. Although it is a brief bus ride from campus and popular with dog-walkers and babysitters, the people who tended to visit the park always seemed content to keep to themselves. The boy with silver hair and the girl with blue - they, too, were quiet; they were friends for long enough that long stretches of silence weren’t awkward, just comfortable.

This was their second year in university; although he had chosen business and she had chosen fashion, they had vowed to remain friends despite their diverging career aspirations. Thankfully, it wasn’t difficult. They had the same circle of friends so it was easy to stay in touch and see each other at social events, and they always met up for lunch once a week. 

Today, under the greying autumn skies, she observed him and tried to see if there was anything different about him. She concluded that superficially, not much has changed: his long silver hair is tied up, his clothing was tidy, and his eyes are alert and sharp, as always. He’s the same, but somehow, he’s not. She thinks back to the study session last weekend, when a small group of friends had gathered in the library to go over notes for their geography elective. She remembers how the group was chattering away (doing more gossiping than work, as always), but Takumi seemed lost in thought, and how even his reaction to Hinata’s “Hey, earth to Taco meat!” - which would normally elicit loud cursing - seemed wrong. The response sent warning sirens, and she made a mental note to ask him about it. And now, up close, she can tell there is something different about him, a lingering sadness coming from somewhere she couldn’t quite place.

“Something’s bothering you,” she said.

He looks at her blankly. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, it’s just… when you think no one is looking, you stop smiling, and …”

At this, his expression morphs into something unreadable, something cold and so un-Takumi-like that her sureness begins to falter.

“… and I think something’s bothering you”, she repeats lamely.

His curls his hands on his lap, and doesn’t make a sound. A sudden gust blows through the park, and part of her wonders if he even heard her. She bites her lip as she begins ticking off points on her fingers.

“Look, you’ve got nothing to worry about! Sure, school can sometimes be stressful, and family can be annoying, but it’ll all be okay in the end!”

He grimaces, but she ignores him.

“Plus, you’re amazing! You’re so calm and cool, and you can make any outfit look good! And you can get along with everyone, and you’re great at sports – especially archery – and… and you’ve got a cute laugh, and really nice teeth and great hair!”

This earns her a curious look, and she blushes furiously at the things she’s said. _Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned his teeth. Or his hair. But he looks so down…_ She frowns. _He needs to hear this,_ she decides, and so although she is flustered, she continues.

“Look, just because you can’t see how amazing you are – it doesn’t mean that other people can’t see it either.”

He laughs a little, shakes his head and stands up abruptly. “Thanks for worrying about me, but I’m fine, Oboro. Really.”

She scowls, and he must have realized he wasn’t acting too convincingly. To reassure her, he tries to flash her a smile, tries _so damn hard_ , but she knows him better than that, knows that the smile doesn’t reach his eyes because he’s already a million miles away. 

The lunch continues in silence, until his phone alarm rings, reminding him of his next class in 30 minutes. He chucks his lunch haphazardly back into his backpack, and slings it over his shoulder. “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you next week?”, he asks, and she nods absently.

"Good," he says, and begins to walk away. She watches as he disappears from view, and feels an indelible sadness at the void that words alone could not fill.

_Why can’t you see what I see?_

She wants to yell after him, but she doesn't have the heart to. 

* * *

Days turn into weeks, and the incident at the Izumo Park is never mentioned again. In between the daily stressors of her coursework and her projects and her internship, even the details from the memory begin to fade. As promised, he does see her for lunch again the following week, and it’s as if Izumo Park never happened. Later, she convinces herself that everything is fine; she was definitely being overly sensitive and looking for trouble where there wasn’t any.

They fall back into the same comforting routine, and he’s back to being that same old Takumi she had always known: the Takumi who gets riled up whenever Hinata calls him “Taco meat”, the Takumi who likes to playfully teases his little sister Sakura. He’s the same old Takumi who doesn’t give compliments easily, but really, truly believes in her skill in outfit coordination and one who always takes any opportunity to talk up her fashion blog to whoever he meets. He’s the Takumi who has trouble sleeping, so he browses the Internet in the dark of the night and sends her pictures of cute cats and relatable college senior memes so she can start her morning off with a laugh.

He’s her Takumi, the boy with kind red eyes and pretty silver hair and a smile filled with promise, the same one’s she’s always known, always known and loved.  

How could _anything_ be wrong?

* * *

Sometimes, at social gatherings, she thinks she catches a glimmer of melancholy in his eyes, but when she looks again, it’s already gone and she convinces herself it was a trick in the light. At other times, he'd make a self-deprecating remark among their friends, but it's dismissed as a joke – hey, who _isn’t_ stressed during midterm season? - and so no one notices anything amiss, nothing really changes.

She would try to follow up with him, get him to talk about his feelings, but he'd act as if nothing was wrong, and she is forced to let the matter lie. 

In retrospect, she knows she should have pressed further. But at the time, he had insisted he was fine, and she was foolish enough to believe him. 

* * *

It's the annual Halloween celebration at the local tavern, and everyone's spirits are high and jolly. The tavern is alive with lantern light, and she finds herself enjoying the evening with Rinkah and Orochi, giggling at the latter’s strange mix of masks. At the corner of her eye, she sees Takumi merrily taking shots with Hinata, and the sight convinces her that surely, by now, things are alright again. As the night wears on, she loses track of him, but she is content to know he’s with a trusted friend.

Some time later, she notices Hinata is passed out in a corner booth, but Takumi is nowhere to be seen. When she asks around, panic fills her belly when she realises nobody has seen him for over an hour. She frantically begins a systematic search of every room – even the linen closet – and suddenly she feels suffocated by the deafening sounds of the party. After a disastrous attempt to enter the male washroom, she saunters outside to clear her thoughts where the world is mercifully quiet. She fumbles her phone out of her purse to try and call him, and is surprised to hear his ringtone from around the corner. Relief came at a cost, though: she finds him sitting on the pavement, curled up behind the building, with silent tears running down his face. She reaches for him but he flinches away from her like a wounded animal.

“Look, I k-know you’re just trying to look out for me, and it’s not like I don’t a-appreciate it but – but“ his voice chokes, and he tries to blinks back his tears. “But it’s not that s-simple.”

“Takumi," she says evenly as she sits down next to him. "Hey, listen. You’re going to be alright.”

He looks up from his lap and he glares at her with red-rimmed eyes. “What do you even know about _alright_?”, he snarls, venom laced between every word. “ _What do you even know about anything?!”_

He waits for her response, but when she opens her mouth to argue, she can’t think of anything to say.

“I’m needy and clingy and dumb and stupid and jealous and I’m weak and anxious _but the only things anyone ever even says to me_ is that ‘it’ll be alright’, or ‘relax, just go with it, it’s for the best’, or ‘just study harder’. But I’m tired, Oboro.”

There are fresh tears in his eyes, but the fight is all gone, now. “I’m so. Fucking. Tired.”

She knows words can’t comfort him, so she tries a different tactic instead. This time, he doesn’t recoil when she reaches for him, doesn’t balk when she holds him in her arms. Instead, he cries and cries, and that’s how she knows for certain that she has lost. 

_( things aren’t alright )_

_( maybe they never were )_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> This story was inspired by the song "Hurt" (the Johnny Cash version), and is dedicated to my friend. 
> 
> To those reading now: know that you are not interchangeable.  
> Know that everyone matters to someone. 
> 
>    
> (also, my apologies for any mistakes. Lemme know and I'll try and fix 'em).


End file.
